wristcutters: a love story

WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY

(2006)

I like movies about the afterlife, especially this one. And i am not being biased because I would totally marry Patrick Fugit. Oh, and fucking Tom fucking Waits. You should definately watch this. That is all.

THE BLOB (1988.remake)

THE BLOB
(1988)

In my opinion this is not too shabby for a remake. Fun movie to sit back and enjoy while eating gummysaves after a 12 hour shift at work. Some lovies in it too, like the mom from Cat's Eye, and Pete Martell of Twin Peaks <3 Also, that one dude with the curly haired mullet from some of those 80's movies.What the hell was he in? Oh, maybe it was The Blob remake. And the cutie lady from Becker and the Saw movies. Anyway.

Some pretty gnarly looking scenes, along with naturally some cheesy ones...

It even has attempted date rape. Hehe, totally awesome sabatoge!

But most importantly, this movie makes me wonder. What the HELL is the purpose of a "belly" sweater?? I mean that really just doesnt make any sense. The 80's pose many of these type of questions...

A BLOOD PLEDGE: BROKEN PROMISE

Feeling lazy and unispired with my movie blog, but i still wanna keep up with what i'm watching.

I'm watching

A Blood Pledge: Broken Promise

By Jason Buchanan 2009

http://www.allrovi.com/movies/movie/a-blood-pledge-broken-promise-v493304?r=allmovie

         Have a nice rapture everyone! Also, you probably should'nt waste your time watching this.

i spit on your grave AKA day of the woman

I Spit on Your Grave [Blu-ray]

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE /a.k.a/ DAY OF THE WOMAN  (1978)

      I want to start by saying the beginning of this movie is tough to watch. I actually had to fast forward quite a bit during the first half. But its also what make the last half hour sooo satisfying.

     Our heroine's story begins when she moves solo into a nice little lake house where she can find solitude to relax and write. But in no time four scumbag locals are constantly buzzing around her relentlessly. It is clear theres no peace to be had here.      

     

    The best of this movie is saved for the last 30 minutes, but it is well worth it. By this time you have gotten to know the characters and are totally ready for vengeance. And ohhh how sweet it is. Nothing better than seeing a beautiful and scorned women stick it to her perps. And GOOD!! A different sweet little plan is reserved for each of these losers. And each one is completely THOROUGH and extremely satisfying to watch. If your a sucker for revenge and sweet justice, but can stomach what it takes to get to that point, recommend!!                                                

So i guess all thats left to say is a word of advice all those date-rapists out there who cant get a chick: This could totally happen to you, dickface!!!!

Teenape Goes to Camp

Teenape Goes To Camp

TEENAPE GOES TO CAMP (2008)
director Chris Seaver

First off, this movie is super low buget. Actually, it is brought to you by "Low Budget Pictures".

Was not so sure, thought this would be hit or miss. During the first scene i was a little worried. This was not looking good. But ZING! All the sudden it is quite obvious, this movie is pretty awesome.

Teenape gets a call, its time to cash in a favor for his totally bitchy friend, Heather Bocila-jerkface or whatever her name is. He reluctantly agrees to help her out at camp being a fellow counselor, but only after a little convincing that there will be plenty of potential action...



And so we arrive at camp. And what a sight to see.

We have the typical horny chick. The dude that just wants to get laid.

Then a couple of um, sorry i guess mildy impaired girls would be the nicest way to put it. One accesorises with a flyswatter and one of those plastic-things-you-hit-in-some-game-i-cant-think-of in her hair. The other one has a mullet and a lisp. (not that there's anything wrong with that, just sayin') And some aweosmely huge glasses. She's painfully annoying, though. In an endearing sort of way. Brain damage, possibly? Then theres Bubbles. Dont really know what he is, but he likes pot. The super-nerdy dude with really big sword --(it cuts burritos, sushi, AND SOULS!!) Then there's the reallly cool dude. He's so cool. His name is choach and he's the master.

And of course the heshen. "NEVER FORGET THE NAME DIO." And thus the pethora of "tail" that teenape was promised.

                                                             

yep good luck with this group. But Heather quickly lays down the rules. Um, dont be dicks. If you remember to NOT be a DICK, then this weekend will be smoooth sailin.

But this weekend will NOT be smooth sailing for Teenape! :O

There are alterior motives for this little campy weekend getaway. Run teenape!!!

But wait, what it this? More surprises?! A "hoax" within a "hoax"! Who thought there could be so many twists and turns in a low budget masterpeice.

This movies not that long so you have no exuse not to watch it. So do it bitch!

Now lets get cleaned up and go get some Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

                                                              

                 

bio zombie

Bio Zombie
BIO ZOMBIE (1998)

subtitles NR

the reason i was fiending to see this was all based on the description "imagine Romero's 'Dawn of the Dead' with an Asian twist. japanese cult classic." One other review desribed it as a HK zombified version of 'Mallrats'. That pretty much sums up my taste in movies right there.

 basically, that adds up to 2 mall clerks and one bio-chemical crash which equals some very unlucky teenage mall-goers. hilarity ensues when they get tanked on saki and for some reason its portrayed as if they are on herion. is there a misunderstanding by the makers of this movie of the effects of alcohol? things get a little more "believeable" when cutie-honey barfs on her boyfriend mid make-out sesh. Best part: they continue to get it on.

Zombies are portrayed with a little more personalized charactristics as is the norm, *which makes it very heartfelt. Also, it explores the awkwardness of how it feels when your friend turns into a zombie. seriously, i hate that. so awkward.

"eat iiiit. eat iiiit."

anyway, yep... starts out a little wee bit slow but DEFINATELY picks up. seriously this movie gets better and better. Recommend!!

mall zombie scenarios will always be a favorite

the hall monitor

The Hall Monitor
THE HALL MONITOR (1999)
loyd kauffman/troma

hi peoples. with all my current library goodies netflix almost got ko'd and down for the count, but i can not let that happen! i will not let library trump netflix. So the Hall Monitor. I will let you know if you are not familiar with troma, its very low budget and not for everyone. personally i adore it. but most wont. thats just the breaks i guess.

opening scene, death metal CASSETTE tape gets eaten by the player. Of course, this captures my heart. Welcome to BO-TECH where the heshens are anal and eager to learn? and the jocks are cheerleaders are the source of much annoyance and disruption (what else is new :D ) and a guy in a carrot suit, who i never really did "get" but its troma so i dont try to hard to understand.

And of course. the student. who takes his job verrrry seriously. And hes got a gun. and sometimes an eye-twitch. basically, DONT FUCK WITH THE HALL MONITOR.

LIVE high school all over again!! SEE what happens when someone tries to cheat off the hall moniter!! EXPERIENCE troma in its glory!! (even though this one is not so "gory")

And always just make sure you remember. "IF YOU GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY... YOU RAISE YOUR HAND."